Posted by Patty Tomaso on November 23, 2002 at 23:02:08 from 152.163.189.68:
Tomaso losing battle with hepatitis C
By Denise Madera
Associate Editor
A little more than eight months ago, paramedic Joe Tomaso said he was not about to let his fight with hepatitis C win. He was determined to work for as long as he could safely and medically could. He was devoted to a job he said defined who he was.
He’s lost that, and he is in danger of losing much more. Barring something akin to a miracle, the prognosis is not good.
Tomaso, an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) in New York as well as Connecticut, contracted hepatitis C in 1998 after treating a patient who was infected. At first, the diagnosis did not diminish his devotion.
"Being an EMT is who I am and I can’t imagine doing anything else as a career. I always knew that this is what I wanted to do. I love knowing that I helped someone," he said. "Now , I can’t do the job I love. I am just waiting to die."
Tomaso said during a recent appointment, his doctor told him she had never seen the illness progress with others as it did with him. When the doctor told him he probably will not be alive much past February, he wasn’t shocked.
"I am in constant pain. I have several prescriptions for medication to alleviate the pain. The meds don’t even touch the pain. As strong as it is, the Percoset isn’t helping," Tomaso said. "I am in bed early, sometimes 8 at night. I used to be able to pull double shifts without thinking twice. This is just so frustrating and aggravating."
Tomaso said on a scale of one to 10, his pain level is at four. The pain is so severe, he said, that it has caused him to faint. Although slightly embarrassed, Tomaso said he felt worse for the EMT who helped him,
"I am probably the worst patient to work on. I was trying to get up and walk and I fell down as they were telling me not to get up. I was doing what used to drive me crazy," he said. "My only option right now is a liver transplant and who’s to say that will happen in time."
Tomaso said even is a liver became available, he is not sure he would do the transplant.
"At this stage, the transplant would maybe give me a couple more months. If it is between me and someone who has damage because of a car accident, I think that person should get it because he or she has a better chance at a long life. I would actually feel better knowing that someone was given a chance," he said. "I know that my days are numbered and I need to make peace with that."
Tomaso said although he was infected in 1998, he wasn’t diagnosed until 2000. At first, he was able to manage the disease. He said he drew a lot of strength from his wife of 17 years, Patty, and their three kids Nicole, Sean and David.
"My kids know what is going on. Nicole doesn’t really talk about it and Sean tells me how he feels. David often cries and tells me he doesn’t want me to die. Patty, however, is in denial. She doesn’t want to deal with it and gets mad at me when I say I am going to die," Tomaso said. "This has caused a lot of stress in our marriage. We separated for a while and Patty did file for divorce."
Patty agreed that the illness has put a lot of stress on them, but said she was at the point where she couldn’t deal with it anymore.
"He just doesn’t want to fight anymore. He is giving up and is not the fighter he was before. I just don’t know how to help him. I know he is in a lot of pain and the medication isn’t really doing much to help with that. It’s at the point where all it could do is just make him comfortable," she said.
Although Patty has family and friends in the city, she said she very rarely gets any time to herself. Where before she and her husband were a team, she is now assuming all the household responsibilities as well as working full-time at Golfer’s Warehouse in Orange.
"With Joe not being able to work, I need to. I will do what I have to pay the bills and make sure my kids have food to eat and clothes to wear. Joe’s medicine has wiped us out financially," Patty said. "We set up a trust fund for the kids and to help us out a bit. I will be here for Joe for as long as he needs me."
To make a donation, send a check to the Joe Tomaso Trust Fund Acct. 49410, c/o Patricia Tomaso, Greater West Haven Federal Credit Union, 502 Main St. West haven, CT 06516